Ive struggled lately with my faith in something greater then us. God, Gaia, the universe, a giant ball of connected strings, whatever it might or might not be, i've struggled to see a greater purpose to the stupidity, selfishness, confusion of humanity.
The awful hate, discrimination, destruction, and pain we all cause each other seems to indicate a lack of connection between us, humanity, and a greater purpose, a driving force or direction that is divine in nature.
With my faith shaken its hard to believe that it's possible to have pre-determined connections between people, places, things, ideas, and yet, in the midst of six months of gut wrenching anxiety, pain, depression, a day of clarity makes me see my faith more clearly than I have in a long time.
I don't know that I believe that the universe, Gaia, great creator, destined Americo and I to be together from the beginning of time, but I think whoever guides the strings through the loom to form the fabric of the universe set my feet on a path that put me in this place, in this time, and it is supremely right that the things I've been through in my life, all the pain, sadness, hurt, lead me to this day of rightness.
I don't believe in soul mates, I don't believe in only one great love per lifetime, but I do believe that I haven't, and couldn't, love anyone as strongly and with such passion as I love Americo, and I am grateful to the great string puller for giving me this chance to share a bed with this wonderful man again.
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Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteLove you with all my heart.
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, I totally agree. I met my wife completely at random online on a message board for bass players (talking about gear, bands, etc..). She was only there because a friend of hers posted on there and said that there were a lot of cool people on it (much like the V.A. board). After a bit we started sending e-mails back & forth and after a year or so, she came up to visit. In 2004, she spent a week back in West Virginia and has been here ever since. I don't think we've spent a full day apart ever since. It's one thing to get married to someone, it's something else marrying someone who is also your best friend.
DeleteSounds like you've both found the same thing. All you have to decide now is who is moving to AU or who is moving to the US ('cause I can only imagine how expensive flying back & forth is).