Cut to maybe three years later and I was in this relationship with a guy who smacked me around some. A friend decided I need a wake up call and made me a mix-tape of various "fuck that dude" songs, including Pearl Jam's Better Man (repeated a lot).
That did change my life.
I walked away from the relationship because of my friend, and because I knew I did, in fact, deserve a better man.
Years later I received apologies in the mail in the form of handwritten letters of nothing but the lyrics to Black.
And when I was 19, maybe 20, I finally decided to let my dad know what he meant in my life. I gave him a mixed 'tape' of my own, a CD containing Daughter, and photos of me growing up, all the moments he'd missed in my life.
Every moment of my life where I stopped, and made a choice, and decided my future went there was to a sound track provided by Pearl Jam.
The great moments, the terrible ones, the days of my early 20's where I locked myself in the bathroom and played those songs over and over again until I could find a place where I didn't want to give up. All of it is tied to this band, these songs, these moments that I used to remember and cry, but now, I can smile fondly at these moments that changed my life.
These songs that took me from one place to another, these songs helped me sleep, helped me have the confidence to get off the plane, these songs take me through the last 2km of my workout, they take me away from the awful days at work as I crank them up to 20 backing out of the car park and sing along at the top of my lungs and everything is ok.
My adult life, who I am, what I want to be, has been defined by the memories that have Pearl Jam playing in the background.
I don't know when these men were born, where they live, what they do when they're not being Pearl Jam, but if I could meet anyone in the world, it'd be these dudes that changed the course of my life, just by doing what they love so much.
I'm a better person 'cause of the memories made to your music.
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