I was going to be good today. I had a plan. It involved being calm and listening to podcasts, and getting through the day just fine. I wasn't going to dwell on Americo going home, I was going to focus on the fact we're finally getting our shit together and next year we'll make the visa thing happen.
I was going to put together a checklist of things I had to do to start pulling together all the visa paper work (again), hook up the printer, and start doing instead of sitting around sobbing.
I wasn't going to dive into a bucket of donuts and a giant bowl of pasta.
I wasn't going to throw up all over myself.
Obviously, this plan was pretty unrealistic.
Airport, totally fine. Got moved to a direct flight, kept his economy plus seat even though he changed flights, we did the quick goodbye to avoid the inelegant airport hysterics, I paid my $20 for 30 minutes of parking (I wish I was joking) and got on the road.
Aisha Tyler's podcast is a delight. Nathan Fillian and Wayne Brady charming and delightful guests. I had a fabulous cheesecake in Goulburn and all was well. A tiny tear in the airport, a catch in the throat when he called before boarding, no problems. I'm a calm, put together, type a control freak, I can just keep moving and get home.
And then, what I can do is go to the supermarket, burst into tears while trying to pick a leek, and then get home and vomit all over myself because I cried til I couldn't breathe, which for me leads to hurling.
So, plan fail. Spectacular fail. Chocolate mousse cheesecake vomit fail.
Btw, chocolate mousse cheesecake is not something you want to vomit all over yourself. It doesn't taste good coming up. It's sticky. And no grown up should ever have to clean vomit out of their hair unless they're absolutely wasted after too many mojitos.
I don't really know what to do next. Go have a shower and wash the vomit out of my hair, I suppose. Make pasta, eat donuts, get my shit together and start planning. Even the shower seems pretty impossible right now. Food total idiocy. Getting my shit together is probably the most hysterical concept of all.
I don't remember how to plan days that don't involve coming home to him. I don't want to remember.
I just wish this shit wasn't so fucking hard. Love shouldn't have to involve leaving someone you love at an airport. It just shouldn't.
Awww... I feel so bad for you. When my wife first came up here to Canada (before we were married), there were some pretty insane hoops to jump through just for her to start working. The people she was working for said they'd do everything they could to help but didn't. There were several 7 hour drives to the U.S. border to get things renewed & stamped just so she could stay while we figured out how to make it permanent. We talked to some immigration lawyers and they said it would be around $4,000 to do the paperwork in addition to the $1,200 processing fee the Gov't charges and there's no guarantee it would be accepted. Fortunately she's pretty determined at times (much like yourself) and she just put her head down, got all the paperwork she needed, did some research on the net and after a few months, we were married and she sent everything in.
ReplyDeleteI won't kid you, she was an absolute nervous wreck waiting to hear back because there was a period for about a year or sp, when her bosses wouldn't help with her work visa, she wasn't allowed to work. During that time, she was almost afraid to leave the apartment because she thought we might get pulled over for some reason or have to have her ID checked somewhere and they would see that her temp. visa had expired. Granted, it helped a lot that we were together going through all of that but at the time, we didn't have access to things like Skype were we could talk face to face, where the both of you can.
I'm not gonna lie, getting all of the ducks you net to get in a row probably won't be very easy but as long as you keep the goal in sight, it'll make it a whole lot easier. Just keep thinking to yourself that regular people do this every day, so there's no reason why I can't do it either.
Stay strong because in the end, it'll all be worth it.
Cory D.