Fried 'FireFlan' Flan

So, there's this guy on the internet, Jose Molina. He's famous for writing stuff and being funny on twitter. He was chatting with my man and somehow fried flan became a thing. A funny thing. And ongoing for a really long time. And I finally made a kind of sort of recipe. Instructions. What have you. It's mostly theory, but I did it once and it works.

However, I will not be held responsible if you are the kind of cook that burns rice.

Step one: Get some of this stuff

In Australia you can get it at any supermarket, in America you probably need to go to somewhere that sells English stuff. Fancy pancy supermarkets and whatnot.

Step 2: Make custard according to packet directions. Tips: DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM THE CUSTARD NO MATTER WHAT. Srsly. You will slowly whisk the custard until it thickens and looks like bright yellow goo. You want it slightly thicker than gravy for this recipe.

Step 3: Get one of these things

You can probably get one of those crazy special ones that makes the balls in one hit, but I don't think it would work.

Step 4: Put the custard into each of these half balls. Don't fill all the way to the top, it'll expand when it freezes.

Step 5: FREEZE. At least over night.

Step 6: get the custard half balls out of the freezer and melt the top slightly with a lighter or blow torch. Fuze the two halves together and put on a tray (or leave one half in the mould and smoosh the other half on top). You're going to want to work fast or things will go wrong in this step. Get it back into the freezer as fast as you can.


Step 7: Leave in the freezer for at least 4 hours.

Step 8: Melt chocolate. Carefully. Using bowl over saucepan thing.

Step 9: Let the chocolate cool but not harden. Dip the balls in the chocolate and put on a tray carefully. WORK FAST. You need to get this shit back in the freezer asap.

Step 10: FREEZE. for ages. 4 hours, overnight, whatever.

Step 10A: I'd maybe do this twice. Double the chocolate double the fun. Do two kinds if you want.

Step 11: smash the shit out of some biscuits (cookies) I like ginger snaps. You want it to be like bread crumb consistency.

Step 12: Make an egg wash. If you don't know how to do this you probably didn't make it past step 1.

Step 13: Dip the frozen choc coated balls in the egg wash, then in the biscuit mix, then back on the tray for the freezer. This is another one of those times where you need to work fast. It's easier cos the chocolate protects melting to some extent, but still, don't be all week.

Step 14: Back in the freezer (predictable).

Step 15: Do step 13 and 14 again. you want a double coat. It's important.

Step 16: This is the bit that things are potentially going to fuck up. The scary bit. This is the deep frying bit. You need a deep fryer or a really deep pan. You need a high heat low flavour oil like vegetable oil or canola oil. You need it REALLY HOT. Like fuck up your skin hot. Be careful.

Step 17: DON'T FREAK OUT. You need to work fast here. Use a basket or one of those things you use for fishing spring rolls out of a deep fryer. Drop the ball in the oil. Leave it for maybe 30 seconds. Maybe max a minute. Probably 30 seconds. Fish it out and put on paper towel to drain.

Step 18: Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar.

Step 19: Eat. Be careful it's hot.

Step 20: Leave a comment if you make it this far and it works.