Lucky 13

2013 has been a long year, and for the most part not a good one.

Work has been a struggle for me this year, with a boss who doesn't understand me, or the work I do. That has been a challenge that I had to work through, and if I'm being honest with myself one I did not face as well as I could have. There was screeching, of which I'm ashamed. December, however, brought what I hope is good news on the work front for 2014. Only time will tell.

On a personal level I've also struggled. My anxiety has been up and down this year and there has been times where my depression has gotten the best of me, I'm not very proud of how I handled myself during those times either. This too has ended with a good note, that I have been mostly anxiety free during December, after reaching peak nut case in the last week of November.

I'm also not proud of my emotional eating, which happened far too often, or that I didn't take the time to exercise more often this year, particularly when I know full well that exercise helps a lot with my mental well being. With Americo here we are both committed to a healthier 2014 with far less cake, cookies, and far more exercise. Together we're going to face my lack of willpower and motivation head on and work hard at being our best selves.

The end of 2013 brings with it the luck I always find in 13's.

2013 found Americo and I applying for a prospective marriage visa. I had finally managed to get enough into saving, and paid off over half of my personal debt, and with a heart full of fear I spent a month gathering paperwork to send to Americo and fronted over $2000 for the application fee.

Each step in the journey seemed to take forever, though as it turns out that 'forever' was just shy of 4 months from start to the notification of approval and then a mere 3 weeks from approval to landing in Australia.

We waited as the 'overnight' courier took a week to deliver the paperwork. Then another few weeks to organise certified documents. Then waiting to hear from the case officer. Then waiting for the medical. Then waiting for the FBI character check, which took longer than it should have because the US government SHUT DOWN.

And then it arrived. Woken up at 6.30 on a day off to be told I would be getting a husband for Christmas was so emotional I will never be able to articulate the joy and elation.

It feels like he has been here forever, but it is only 4 weeks ago tomorrow that I reached peak nut case on the day I picked Americo up from Sydney. A sleepless night. An anxious drive. A more anxious half hour wait at the airport before I saw him walking down the ramp with 3 impossibly large suitcases in tow. A fit of tears later and I managed to compose myself enough to appreciate that we had made it half way through our visa journey.

The first, and hardest part of the work was done, and we could get married and spend this, our first real Christmas together.

Since that day we have, in fact, gotten married, and of course shared that marriage with the world, which of course was the logical end to a relationship that was so much based on the internet.

And today we are spending Christmas eve together watching awful awful violent Christmas movies, and building the traditions that we'll pass onto our child(ren).

Baking snickerdoodles last night, something I used to do with my mother when we lived in the US, I could imagine doing that with my own daughter when she's old enough.

Watching Home Alone, a movie my baby brother always loved to watch, I can picture sitting in bed with our kid watching this horrible destructive brat of a child physically assault grown-ups, something a kid should learn at a young age.

Tomorrow I get to wake up, on Christmas day, with my husband. My husband I had to wait 6 long years for, and I get to say merry Christmas and not open any presents because I made him given them to me early. He doesn't get to open presents either, to be fair, because he got his early as well (PS4 bitches).

We're going to make food together, and watch Miracle on 34th Street, and eat pancakes and cookies. We're going to do it together in our apartment, on our couch, as husband and wife.

2013 will always be our lucky year. A year in which we learned to appreciate our wonderful friends more than ever. A year in which we learned to value our family and what they give us in support and also in the traditions that will become part of our own family. In which we learned to be more patient and take the small moments for the miracle they are.

 Apparently I've also become even more of a shmultzy mess than I've been previously. For your sake I hope I get over that pretty soon, I'm making myself pretty ill, I can only imagine how you feel.